There has been significant debate on this blog about the pursuit of gender equality and the dismantling of the gender binary. In particular, Drizzle highlighted the possible detriment of raising children to be gender aschematic in contemporary society (here). Several bloggers strongly disagreed with Drizzle’s views, and explained that it is worthwhile and beneficial to raise a child in this manner. Country Girl explains that to raise a child without gender stratification may be a difficult task, but that we must try nonetheless (here). I agree that there is significant gender inequality in our society, and that it must be changed. However, I wish to discuss the consequences of some of the tactics that Country Girl and Lazy Lazarus suggest in their previous posts. Although neither author mentioned specific methods of raising children without gender, I believe that certain methods may inadvertently harm children. . .
Country Girl speaks to the broader implications of raising children without gender when she writes, “Children who have been exposed to gender aschematic ideas might be better equipped to become independent thinkers. They would be less inclined to simply accept the usual gendered explanations about how the world is supposed to work, and they will grow up having experienced what a world might look like if all people were equal and not stratified by gender.” Although I feel that many of these points may be accurate, I would like to acknowledge that dressing children in a sexually androgynous manner is a tactic by which many parents may raise there children without gender boundaries. I feel that this may actually do more harm to children. Since most children at school and in public are raised in a system of gender binaries, the tactic of dressing children androgynously may ultimately alienate them. I would like to know what Country Girl is doing in her own life to challenge the gender binary. Judging by her pseudonym, it appears she identifies herself by her gender above all else. I question whether Country Girl lives a life that is completely autonomous of gender norms. If she does not already, I suggest that she tries dressing in a sexually androgynous manner. That way she can experience what it’s actually like to go against our society’s intolerant gender norms. I would hope that she knows what its like, considering she is suggesting we raise our children this way. Raising children to fight your battles is not the answer to eliminating gender and social inequality. Consider the writings of Betsy Lucal, who is a woman that has a body type and style of dress that is not characterized as archetypically feminine in our society. Lucal has many experiences with people who put significant amounts of energy into assigning her a gender. In Lucal’s “What it Means to be Gendered Me,” She uses this social phenomenon of people “doing” gender for her to highlight how fixated we are on the gender binary. Although Lucal was born within a cultural system that operated by that binary, she eventually chose the brave path of living outside the gender binary. Dressing your child in this manner and forcing them outside the gender binary may result in serious consequences for them, including alienation, loneliness and serious confidence problems. Remember that Lucal chose that brave path; it was not assigned to her as a child. Alternatively, I suggest that we focus on finding realistic approaches to fighting injustice and inequality in our society. Raising your child to be gender aschematic will not help people in need and will not improve our society. Nor will it cause the gender binary to come crashing down. More successful and proven ways of fighting sexism include forming community groups and organizations, such as shelters for battered women or supporting organizations which protect and promote the rights of women. We should work in our communities to combat real problems ourselves, instead of forcing our children to bear the repercussions of challenging gender norms. ~ FLP
5 Comments
Jamie Woods
5/10/2010 01:19:42 am
I wonder too what Country Girl has done to back up her arguments with action. I think it is certainly important to raise children with an understanding and knowledge of gender and social inequality but there are certain things that ultimately will not work. This gender binary will always exist, even if our "guidelines" of gender are continually changing with each decade. What would dressing children autonomously actually help do? I think it would promote little change and unfortunately only making it more difficult for the child. Society would never be accepting of it. A more realistic approach is definitely needed.
Reply
Cookie
5/10/2010 11:13:00 am
I appreciate Country Girl’s effort to imagine a world that looks unlike the one we live in today, which includes the possibility of raising our children differently. We currently live in a world that is organized according to a logic of domination and control. This is possible because we create binary systems of order (male/female, white/non-white, heterosexual/non-heterosexual, etc), and then hierarchically organize each end of the binary (e.g., male over female, heterosexual over non-heterosexual). This is what I mean by a system fundamentally organized around domination and control.
Reply
Terrapin Love
5/11/2010 01:03:53 pm
What I do not understand is how do people expect to raise children in a world without gender when our society is completely based on the biological differences of male versus female. It comes down to the simple questions of where would they shop, or what bathroom would they use if parents decided to raise their children by eliminating gender and the inequalities that are brought along with it. I think gender is a part of our society and culture that you just can't defy or get away from. Sure, I love the idea of not being thought of as "less than" a man just because I am a woman, but it's hard to get away from when gender is such a significant part of our culture. Even if a parent tried to eliminate gender, kids in school would just see a girl as a tomboy or a "boyish girl" and would see the boy as a "girly boy"- and this is certainly not eliminating gender at all; it is merely making the child's life confusing, complicated and prone to scrutiny.
Reply
chantelle berry
5/17/2010 02:21:12 am
I completely agree with your blog. "Raising your child to be gender aschematic will not help people in need and will not improve our society. Nor will it cause the gender binary to come crashing down" I like last paragraph in your blog because its exactly how i feel about raising children in a gender aschematic society. Children with no gender will not change anything in our society. It will just cause that child to have more unnecessary problems.
Reply
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbour were preparing to do some research about that. We got a good book on that matter from our local library and most books where not as influensive as your information. I am very glad to see such information which I was searching for a long time.This made very glad Smile
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorsThe Class Blog Project, or CBP, is a blog featuring undergraduate students forming a critical dialogue with each other around ideas related to the sociology of gender. Archives
May 2010
Categories
All
|